Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Spouses of Football Game Body Painters: Rejoice

bodypaint.jpgIt’s that time of year again. Direct TV is starting to advertise the NFL Sunday Ticket package. For the uninitiated, it gives you unlimited access to watching every single NFL game that ever was, even if it is blacked out in your market. If you live far away from your home team, or just have to see it all (200 games!), then that is the antidote for what ails you.

Something disturbing always happens during football season, and that is usually both a major lapse of fashion sense, as well as a lapse in one’s general well being. It involves standing outside in freezing weather, and if you are a male of the species, being shirtless and painting yourself with absurd numbers and logos. It seems like that would be the surefire way to deter any of the ladyfolk from coming anywhere near you. Ever. Even so, the trend still rages on. I is not everyone doing it, but just those few groups that make everyone else stand and point.

If you want to be “that guy” without the fashion police bearing down upon you, I suppose that checking into the NFL Sunday Ticket price and seriously considering itis going to help you paint and display in the privacy of your own home. Then, of course, it will make you a closet painter and some unsuspecting gal will have the shock of her life once she starts her life with a guy. She will have had no inkling about the mild mannered gent, and then one day, she is home from work or exercise class unexpected and walks in to the shock of her life.

Don’t be a closet painter. If you must, then please tell the lady in your life before you get serious, lest she consider it a deal breaker. Perhaps, as an alternative, maybe that could just be your private thing, and you do it in the “Man Cave.” In other words, it is an unspoken rule that the den or tv room is your private sanctuary during games where none shall pass.

I like to plan ahead, but am not thinking about what I will be watching on television in the fall. However, for those of you that are in mourning over the Lions and just believe that this year will be the year, you are probably pouring over the nfl sunday ticket schedule right now.

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